New Year's Resolutions

Dear two-hit-wonder guys.I was wondering. Now that we are almost 2/24ths of the way through the New Year, does Two-Hit-Wonder have any New Year’s resolutions?
Sincerely still waiting on fat guy pix,
Ted

For the past five years, Matt has failed to keep his New Years’ resolution…to start smoking. Maybe reverse peer pressure has gotten to him. On more than one occasion he has expressed frustration that he lacks the will power to start smoking. The benefits are obvious…more breaks at work, it looks cool, you smell great, no one notices your dead tooth, because the rest of your teeth are yellow and nothing compliments a moustache like a cigarette. This year, he decided to take some of the pressure off and has resolved not to resolute. He’s already making tremendous progress. He’s become addicted to Nicorette gum and when he’s ready, he’ll buy his first pack of KOOLs.

Craig may not be calling it a resolution, but I am recommending that he discontinue the eating of convenience store hot dogs. He has an extremely unhealthy relationship with 7Eleven’s Bahama Mama.

The keyword for 2006 for both wonders is not resolution, but revolution. Craig and Matt are committed to revolutionize the buddy comedy website sector. And they will stop at nothing less than partial market penetration. Website signings, press junkets, red carpet roll outs, world premieres, bumper stickers and t-shirts probably won’t happen. But, 2-3 ridiculous letters to Hollywood are a possibility in 2006.

Andrew Schmack
Intern to the Wonders

Two Hit Wonder Store

Have you ever wondered what the results would look like if you paid $40 on Ebay for a logo service? Wonder no more. We’ve already blown our entire 2006 marketing budget, but if that’s what it takes for Craig to shed his gay pirate image, then it’s worth it.

Intern Andrew Schmack is actively scouring computer geek message boards trying to figure out how to correctly size the logo to serve as our new website banner. The image is now available on 2HW t-shirts, stickers, thongs and other great, overpriced products in the 2HW store (while supplies last). Accept no imitations; the link below is your only source for official 2HW merchandise.

Two Hit Wonder store

Testimonials

“I could not be married to Matt,” said the wife of a friend when told of my urinal video and subsequent firing.

“You’re a lost cause,” says former Wonder Craig to Last Wonder Standing Matt.

“Wow…twohitwonder.com! What can I say…the mustache really does make the man! These guys are twice as good as Chumbawumba!”Lazerman from CK and LazermanKKMG Colorado Springs

“Sorry I didn’t reply earlier but I was briefly hospitalized for a couple of things: One, to repair the split in my side and two, to have my ass re-attached after laughing it off,” complains Todd.

“I just spent the last 30 minutes checking out the website…how do I describe the experience in words…silly, high comedy, awkward, kooky, and Chinese…good times. 2hw for life!” cries Drew.

“(2HW is) a very funny little website. You should really check it out! I love a dry witty sense of humor. You’re my new hero,” says up and coming hip hop artist Young MM-C.

“This site sucks way worse than the other one,” says Paul. {referring to www.norwayorthehighway.com }

“I went to your website and see that you have sunk to the depths of self promotion,” says a completely different Paul.

“Holy sh*t, you have problems,” deadpans Jason.

“Without a doubt, this is the most frightening thing I have ever seen,” raves Lynne.

“It’s good to see that the “slow” kid from school found his calling,” cries Tim.

“That is awesome…depending upon your definition of awesome, I suppose,” supposes Ken.

“Craig and his buddy kind of remind me of those guys who made that date with Drew Barrymore documentary, but much funnier,” says Sammy.