Fans Demand Pictures of Craig

FAT GUY PIX!!!!!!! HOW MANY X’S MUST I ASK!!!!!!!!
Ted

Thank you very much for your email. Due to unprecedented email volume, we have been slow to respond to the email (plural) that we have received. We apologize for any inconvenience.

For our readers at home who may not know that you were referring to Craig when you requested “Fat Guy” pics, I offer the following explanation:
“Who’s the Fat Guy?” is a confusing question. When we were in high school, Matt’s Grandpa was introduced to Craig. On their second meeting, Grandpa asked Craig if he had been gaining weight. Days later Matt introduced his grandpa to another friend, Greg. Grandpa said, “It’s nice to meet you jack and the bean stick, but where’s that fat kid at?” Craig’s “Fat Kid” persona was born. Since that time, Matt has gained 80 pounds and is the real Fat Kid, but Craig has been unable to shake his nickname.

Craig has been working feverishly to get some photos of himself for the website. We thought full body shots would be best. Craig is most comfortable without his shirt, so we decided the beach would be the ideal backdrop. Matt suggested that the pics be taken with Craig wearing only his moustache and a smile. His wife demanded that he at least wear a Speedo. Since then Craig has been trying to locate the perfect set of trunks. We searched Ebay and found some nice used black and white striped Speedos, but someone had already bid $1.99.

Yesterday, Craig shaved his goatee to just a moustache and went Speedo shopping at a Thrift Store (I can’t make this stuff up, well, I could, but it wouldn’t be as pathetic). Having no luck at the Thrift Store, Craig decided to get some pictures of himself at work, where he was recently named Associate of the Month. To take pictures, most people would have brought along a photographer. Not Craig. He and his moustache set up his tripod and began snapping pictures of himself using his camera’s timer. Just for a second, picture one of Craig’s co-workers coming in on a Saturday to a mostly empty office only to find a badly moustached, slightly overweight Craig alone in his cube with a tri-pod set up taking pictures of himself.

To say Craig and Matt have problems would be a considerable understatement. That said, pics of Craig in the office should be available soon. Pics of Craig on the beach will have to wait until he finds the perfect Speedo.

Sincerely,
Andrew Schmack
2HW Intern and Lead Email Correspondent