Ebay Ad: 2HW to Star in a Super Bowl Commercial

Below is an ad we ran on Ebay offering our commercial acting talents…

COMEDY DUO “TWO HIT WONDER” STARS IN YOUR SUPER BOWL AD
HELP 2HW GET THEIR 15 MINUTES! COME ON…IT’LL BE FUNNY!

What you ordinarily get when you pay $2.5 million for a Super Bowl commercial is 30 seconds of airtime to sell your wares to 100 million Americans. If you win this highly competitive auction, (and pay $2.5 million-ish for a commercial in next year’s Super Bowl) you’ll get more, but not very much more.

You are bidding on the services of Two Hit Wonder…pound-for-pound America’s fourth funniest lowbrow buddy comedy duo. Matt and Craig (the founders of two hit wonder dot com) will write, produce, direct, make each other up, and star in a commercial to be broadcast during next year’s Super Bowl. While the commercial itself will most likely not be very good, the publicity that will accompany this project could be worth hundreds of dollars.

High budget commercials that involve ad agencies, high-paid actors, directors, etc. are quickly forgotten. But, people will remember and talk about the Super Bowl commercial that looked like it was shot with a Cannon VHS camcorder in Craig’s basement.

We will spend the months leading up to the Super Bowl filming a documentary about our endeavor. This documentary will prominently feature your product and is tentatively titled “Super Size Me II”. (Note: After viewing our documentary, people will be more enthusiastic about your product than they were about McDonald’s after watching the original “Super Size Me”.)

We are slightly more provocative and slightly heavier than celebrated documentarian Michael Moore. Like Moore, we are willing to become a lightning rod of controversy in order to get America to talk about important issues such as which light beer they should drink and/or if their razor is sharp enough.

Some facts about Two Hit Wonder:
• We are simply resistible.
• We have rugged, below-average looks.
• What we lack in pretty, we make up for in funny.

Some natural product fits:
• Victoria’s Secret’s Plus-Size Men’s Underpants
• Weight Loss
• Hair Gain
• Black n Mild Cigarettes

Other Terms and Conditions:
• If you would like us to provide references that can attest to our talent, please do not bid.
• If you’re just a weird rich guy who has been otherwise unable to lure men into his mansion for “backrub night”, please see Craig’s other auction.
• If you like Piña Coladas, and getting caught in the rain, there’s very little we can do for you.
• We will cancel all other advertising contracts on our website and promote your product exclusively through the end of Super Bowl XLI. (Some days our site gets more than 4 hits)
• This unique opportunity will only be available as many times as Ebay lets us run this ad.
• The number of auctions available will be limited to the number of companies willing to pay $400k for our services.
• In the unlikely event that the winner of this auction provides a good or service that we don’t feel comfortable endorsing, we reserve the right to affix temporary tattoos of your logo on the foreheads of our children instead of putting the work into a Super Bowl quality commercial.
• For more details please visit www.twohitwonder.com (Note: Our website’s look has been compared to a junior high school computer science project gone bad, but that’s not fair…to junior high computer scientists.) Since Ebay has yet to launch its “Super Bowl Ad Talent” section, it’s entirely possible that this ad will not be seen by the right people. Please make the world a better place by forwarding the link to this ad to everyone in your contacts list. We hope this becomes the first chain email/pyramid scheme where everyone wins…especially us.

Thank you,
2HW