American Idol had originally scheduled Elvis himself to work with the young Idols this week, but there have been recent reports that his health is deteriorating. So, they got the next best thing, shady music executive Tommy Mottola. I was unaware that Tommy had a connection with Elvis, so I read his bio. Surprisingly, it did mention a connection…between Tommy and the mob. Other bio highlights…After failing as an actor and singer, he got his start as a talent manager by converting from Catholicism to Judaism so that he could marry the daughter of the head of ABC records. His ex-wife, Mariah Carey, alleged that he verbally abused her. Michael Jackson called him the devil. He was relieved of his duties as the head of Sony music for a multitude of transgressions, including stealing music from Mariah’s “Glitter” album and passing it to then girlfriend, J Lo. As Simon said tonight, “It’s a family show” and who better to coach the kids than good old Uncle Tommy.
Tommy might have been a passable coach if it hadn’t been Elvis week. And it should not have been. At this point in the competition, it is brutally unfair to continue the theme weeks. On what planet is Catherine ever going to sing Elvis songs? She never had a chance. If America liked her enough to put her in the top 4, don’t set her up to fail and then bash her inability to pull off a passable impression of the king. Let her do what she does best, don’t force her to to try to win votes by getting in a dance-off with Taylor. That said, you cannot forget your lyrics at this stage of the competition and expect to move on. Nor can you forget the middle of your dress. Her second outfit looked like me trying to fit in an extra large shirt…bare midriff ahoy! Despite her issues, the audience went crazy for her, especially after the first song. But, for whatever reason, the script called for Catherine to get eliminated this week. Simon calling her manic and shrieky was over the top…the writers should be ashamed of the ridiculous way they chose to send off this season’s best female vocalist.
They should also be ashamed that they completely ripped off the plot from “She’s All That” in their conspiracy to make Elliott the next American Idol. We can only hope that the AI writers will get the same treatment Tommy did for stealing Mariah’s songs. In “Shes All That” Freddie Prinze Jr takes a bet that he can turn an ugly duckling into the school’s prom queen. The AI writers have geeky Elliott a couple weeks away from being the next American Idol. During his sessions with Tommy, Elliott looked like Jason Bateman in Teen Wolf Too, but once he finished singing the judges did their best to convince America that he is every bit as talented as Michael J. Fox. Elliott has a great voice, but he’s boring. If he had any “It”, he’d be a 10. (quick aside to let the reader in on that inside joke…Craig (from Two Hit Wonder)’s grandma’s favorite joke is about a student who is asked to use the word urinate in a sentence. He tells his teacher, “You’re-an-eight, if you had any tits youd be a ten”.) Elliott does not have the “it factor” and the writers will not succeed in making him America’s prom queen. I predict that America will see through the bull and send Elliott home this week. Taylor won’t get the boot on Elvis week and Chris rocked as usual. Good night.
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