Today I received an email that I am required to complete a Code of Conduct certification. It was sent by someone who calls himself the “Director of Competing with Integrity - Ethics and Compliance”.
That makes no sense.
I can understand a Director of Ethics, or a Director of Compliance. But how could someone in his position think that adding “Competing with Integrity” helped clarify what he does?
In addition to the awkward nature of his title, the dual meaning of “competing” makes it a horrible choice of words. I’ll assume he didn’t mean that he’s “opposed to” Integrity. But, any fool knows that to win any competition in corporate America, the last thing you want to do is compete with integrity. I think this calls for a little “reply to all”…
Dear DOCWIEAC,
I have just wasted the 15 minutes I had budgeted to complete your certification program speculating on the potential meaning of your ridiculous job title. I will not be completing the certification and instead will compete against Integrity every chance I get between now and when I get fired.
Thanks,
Matt from 2HW
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