The Office Convenience Store

I can already tell I’m going to need to find a Thesaurus that tells me different ways to say “Shoot me in the face”, because, that’s how I’m going to want to start every entry in this category. This place is so ridiculous. I just got the email below from a manager…

I don’t believe I passed on the first email from Blank, but Blank has a “mini” snack store in the file cabinet next to her cube. She has a variety of items for snack or lunch for sale. You are welcome to check it out.
Thanks,
Blank

Original email from the shopkeeper…
“(My store) now has swiss cake rolls, diet Dr. Pepper and granola bars. We’ve also restocked the nutty bars, diet Pepsi and Rice Krispee Treats.”

So, let me get this straight. Blank has set up a Kwiki Mart in her cube and not only has the blessing of upper management, but also is getting this manager to SPAM us with advertising that highlights new product offerings. I’m sure there aren’t any corporate codes of conduct being broken there. I’m guessing the agreements we have with our vending machine providers encourage this type of behavior.

Dear Blank,

I promise not to forward your email to HR as long as you promise to start serving Slushees.

Thanks,
Matt from 2HW