Tom Green

I’m back in the game after taking some time off to be thankful for Jack Daniels and pie.

Filming the Matt Hit Wonder Show from my mother-in-law’s living room seemed like such a novel concept, but it turns out Tom Green hosts a live nightly Internet talk show from his living room. His web of show business contacts and LA location seem to make for a better show than my little broadcast featuring my limited network in the greater Prairie Village, Kansas region. I decided to write Tom this letter requesting that Two Hit Wonder appear as his guests next week.

Hey Tom Green,

I too am an Internet personality, but whereas you are a world-renowned celebrity, I am a fat unemployed guy. My “partner” Craig and I make up America’s fourth funniest lowbrow buddy comedy duo, Two Hit Wonder.

We were thinking that instead of continuing to book celebrities on your show, you should give a shot to two balding, badly mustached, dumb guys. Sitting next to us is guaranteed to make you appear better looking. In addition, we’re good at drinking and answering phone calls, which appear to be the most important character traits in your guests.

My claim to fame is that I recently got fired from my job pretending to be an Accountant when I filmed a video in my office men’s room (and women’s room) complaining about how close together the urinals were…You’re an Eight. Craig is best known for becoming an ordained minister online and screwing up his cousin John’s wedding.

Craig lives in Altadena and I’ll be in town visiting him this week. So, if Andrew Dice Clay falls ill or Andy Dick’s pre-show urine test reveals dangerous levels of estrogen, we’d be happy to fill in as your guests. Our available dates are November 28 through December 4th.

Thanks,
Matt from Two Hit Wonder
History of Two Hit Wonder

Update: Tom actually posted this email on his website with this response, “sounds awesome! we will be in touch!”.