They're trying to make me an accountant...update 6...Craigslist Ad Seeking Musical Talent

With 10 days left, I have decided to use Craigslist once again. This time I posted a need for muscial talent to do a Set Matt Free benefit album. The contents of the post are detailed below.

Dear Music Industry,

Remember when we were the world? We were the children! Twenty years ago, before Michael Jackson turned into a weird white woman, “We are the World” raised over $60 million for hungry Africans. Some of music’s biggest names and Huey Lewis came together to record this heart-warming song.

Today, there’s an opportunity for you to be involved in a similar project with an equally worthy beneficiary. As you may have heard, I am in grave danger. If action is not taken by April 24th, I will be forced to become an accountant. Please do not let this happen.

For the few that may not know who I am…my name is Matt and I am one half of America’s fourth funniest lowbrow buddy comedy duo, Two Hit Wonder. According to our website statistics, somewhere between 4 and 37 people depend on me for daily entertainment. The more time I spend accounting, the less time I’ll have to entertain America. If I am forced to become an accountant, everyone loses.

But, it’s not too late to write a happy ending to this potentially devastating tale. If you appear on the list below please contact me immediately about participating in this worthy cause.

Tenacious D
The Dan Band
Lyle Lovett
They Might Be Giants
Flight of the Conchords
David Allan Coe
Clay Aiken
Poison
Ray Pruit
Spinal Tap
The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air
Neil Diamond

If you aren’t on the list above, don’t worry. They let Dan Akroyd, Marlon Jackson, and Cyndi Lauper sing on “We are the World”. If you have time, talent and especially money, we’ll find a place for you.

Initially, I had planned to do one song, but why should we settle for anything less than a three-disc box set when we’re talking about a charity that’s so important to so many people.
I’m currently working on the first song, “Set Matt Free”, but may need some help finishing it. Here’s what I have so far, “My name’s Matt and I’m a Wonder, I’m just here to do the Super Bowl Shuffle” (begin dance sequence). Feel free to work off of that model, or come up with your own, original work.

In closing, I’d like you to ask yourself when was the last time you were asked to come to the aid of an overweight, slightly balding, lactose intolerant, badly mustached, 34 year old Norwegian American? This might be the last chance you get. Do not pass now and hate yourself later. You can make a difference. Please note that all donations and proceeds from the sale of the record will go directly to the Save a Wonder Foundation. For additional details, please visit the “Set Matt Free” page on Two Hit Wonder.

Thanks,
Matt H. Wonder