They're trying to make me an accountant...Update 4...First Job Offer

This is a big day. I received my first job offer in “the industry” (details below). I passed, but barely. Twelve days until I become an accountant. Please help me.

i’m an independantly wealthy movie producer without spell check. i’m currently seeking men for an “adult themed” motioon picture titled “you’ve got male”…interested?
Oswald Penny Packer

“OPP,
How can I explain it? I’ll take it frame by frame it. O is for Other, P is for People, Scratch your temple, the last P, well, that’s not that simple…bust it.” Thank you Oswald for taking me back to my days as a teenage “Naughty by Nature” fan. I’m down with OPP…yeah you know me.

While I may be down with OPP, I plan to give my career a couple more weeks before I would consider being down with “adult themed” films. But, as a gifted writer, I am willing to help you come up with original titles for films in your genre. All you have to do is replace a word from the title of a well known film with the word “anus”. Below are excerpts from Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan’s actual IMDB movie profiles with titles changed for your pleasure. You’re welcome.

Thanks,
Matt from 2HW

P.S. Craig loves handling packages, you might see if he wants a shot at getting male.

Against the Anus (2004) …. Jackie Kallen… aka Promoterin, Die (Germany)… aka The Promoter (Germany)
In the Anus (2003) …. Frannie
“What’s Going Anus?” - Intolerance in Northern Anus (????) TV Episode
Proof of Anus (2000) …. Alice Bowman
You’ve Got Anus (1998) …. Kathleen Kelly
Burlyanus (1998) …. Bonnie
City of Anus (1998) …. Maggie Rice… aka Stadt der Engel (Germany)
Anustasia (1997) (voice) …. Anya/Anastasia Nicholaevna Romanov
Addicted to Anus (1997) …. Maggie… aka Forlorn
Anus Under Fire (1996) …. Captain Karen Emma Walden
Restoranus (1995) …. Katharine
Anus Kiss (1995) …. Kate… aka Paris Match
When a Man Loves an Anus (1994) …. Alice Green
Anus in Seattle (1993) …. Annie Reed
Prelude to an Anus (1992) …. Rita Boyle
Joe Versus the Anus (1990) …. DeDe/Angelica Graynamore/Patricia Graynamore
When Harry Met Anus… (1989) …. Sally Albright
Inneranus (1987) …. Lydia Maxwell
Anus Land (1987) …. Bev
Top Anus (1986) …. Carole Bradshaw
“Wildanus” (1985) TV Series …. Cally Oaks (1985)
“Anus in Charge” - Megan Harper
Anusville 3-D (1983) …. Lisa
“Anus of the Boys” (1982) TV Series …. Jane (1982)
“As the Anus Turns” (1956) TV Series …. Betsy Stewart Montgomery Andropoulos
Amy and the Anus (1982) (TV) …. Denise

Charlie Wilson’s Anus (2006) (pre-production) …. Charlie Wilson
A Cold Anus (2006) (pre-production) …. Andy Rosenzweig
Magnificent Anus (2005) (voice) …. Narrator
The Anus Express (2004) …. Hero Boy/Father/Conductor/Hobo/Scrooge/Santa Claus
Elvis Has Left the Anus (2004) …. Mailbox Elvis
Catch Me In The Anus (2002) …. Carl Hanratty
The Green Anus (1999) …. Paul Edgecomb
You’ve Got Anus (1998) …. Joe Fox
Saving Private Anus (1998) …. Captain John H. Miller
That Anus You Do! (1996) …. Mr. White
Anus Story (1995) (voice) …. Woody
Anus 13 (1995) …. Jim Lovell
Anus of Horror I (1994) (TV)
Anus in Seattle (1993) …. Sam Baldwin
An Anus of Their Own (1992) …. Jimmy Dugan
“Tales from the Anus”
The Bonfire of the Anus (1990) …. Sherman McCoy
Joe Versus the Anus (1990) …. Joe Banks
Anus & Hooch (1989) …. Det. Scott Turner
Every Time We Say Anus (1986) …. David Bradley
The Anus Pit (1986) …. Walter Fielding, Jr.
The Man with One Red Anus (1985) …. Richard Harlan Drew
Anus Party (1984) …. Rick Gassko
“Happy Anus”… aka Happy Days Again (USA: syndication title) (1982) TV Episode …. Dr. Dwayne Twitchell
“Anus Buddies” …. Kip ‘Buffy’ Wilson (1981) TV Episode
“The Anus Boat” (1980) TV Episode …. Rick Martin
He Knows Your Anus (1980) …. Elliot… aka Blood Wedding