They're trying to make me an accountant...Update 7...Letter to Angelina Jolie

Dear Angelina Jolie,

You have a Cambodian. You have an Ethiopian. What would I have to do to talk you into adding a half-Norwegian to your collection?

Your little boy Maddox was adopted from a Cambodian orphanage. That was a cute story while it lasted, but you took adoption club up a notch with your next acquisition. What could be cuter than an Ethiopian orphan whose mother died of AIDS? Topping that with adoption number three will be expected, but seriously what could be sadder than that? I’ll tell you what. A 236-pound, 34 year old, white male asking stars to save him from becoming an accountant.

But, hear me out. I may not be the traditional charity case, but what if I told you adopting me would be funny? If you’re still not convinced, I’d be willing to settle for a foster parent relationship. I’ll only call myself Matt Jolie-Pitt and accept support checks from you until I get my writing career up and running.

Thanks Mom,
Matt