They're trying to make me an accountant!!!!!

Today is a dark day in 2HW history. I received a death sentence. In nineteen days, I will start a job as an accountant. Take a long look at my picture below. I am not an accountant. If I take this job, all creativity will likely be sucked out of me. I’ll be reduced to hilarious yarns about rounding errors and GAAPs. Two Hit Wonder as we know it could cease to exist.

To prevent this from happening, I have decided to seek a paying gig in the entertainment industry that is good enough to convince my wife to move my family to the entertainment capital of the world, India’s Film Mecca, Bollywood.

FIRST CRAIGSLIST POST
City: Los Angeles
Category: Creative Services
Title: They’re trying to make me an accountant!

Dear Hollywood,

I have until 4/24 to become an international phenomenon or I will turn into an accountant. Please Help!

My resume is posted here (dead link deleted). My headshot is at the top of the site. (I’m one of the good-looking ones.) Also on display is my extensive portfolio of lowbrow comedy writing.
All paying gigs will be considered with the probable exception of gay porn (unless it’s tasteful).

Thanks,
Matt H. Wonder

email: matt at twohitwonder dot com
website: Two Hit Wonder