They're trying to make me an accountant...Update 1

It’s been twelve hours since my initial plea for help and I've yet to receive a job offer in the entertainment industry. In an effort to buy more time, 2HW WOULD LIKE TO ANNOUNCE THE CREATION OF THE “SAVE A WONDER FOUNDATION”.

You know those charity functions where people get placed in jail until they can find friends willing to donate enough money to charity to bail them out? Operation “Set Matt Free” is just as stupid, but his jail is all too real. If action is not taken immediately, I will be spending the next 30 years to life in an 8x6 cube impersonating an accountant. I need your help now. Quit wasting your money helping poor people and unethically treated animals. You can help bail me out right now with a generous donation to the Save a Wonder Foundation. Just click the link below.

(Please note: In no way is this a genuine charity. All proceeds will go directly to Craig and I. But, keep in mind; your charity dollars will stretch further. We’ve cut out the middleman and passed the savings on to you…savings that will be lost when your accountant tells you that your donation to the Save a Wonder Foundation is not tax-deductible. In the unlikely event that I am unable to raise enough money to quit my day job, I will probably use the donations to buy moustache wax and/or the May issue of Black Tail magazine.)