They're trying to make me an accountant...Update 2...Letter to Hugh Hefner

Panic is setting in. I am 17 days away from becoming an accountant. I’m going to start appealing directly to Hollywood’s biggest names to help.

Dear Hugh Hefner,

You recently put Jessica Alba on the cover of Playboy without asking her permission. When she threatened to sue, you donated money to her favorite charity and all was forgiven.

I’ve attached a picture of me in a Two Hit Wonder thong (thongs now available for purchase in the Two Hit Wonder store). I forbid you to put my photo on the cover of your magazine. If you choose to ignore my demand, my favorite charity is the Save a Wonder Foundation.

Thanks,
Matt