Day 2

This is wild. I really don’t have a job. I think I could get used to retirement…although, peanut butter and jelly sandwiches are already getting old. I wonder how long we could make it if I start selling the kid’s toys on Ebay.

Speaking of which, my wife has yet to set up a firewall at home. I’m like an ex-Accountant in a candy store. I have none of the restrictions that used to drive me crazy at work. It’s great. I can get on Ebay, Fantasy Football sites, Poker sites, My Space…wait maybe a fat, unemployed thirty-something with a weird moustache shouldn’t admit to spending daytime hours on My Space.

While my wife has yet to try to restrict my idle web time, she is putting together an HR handbook for our home. She’s going to make damn sure that I am aware of all policies so that my ignorance does not get me into any more trouble.

Last week HR was telling me I wasn’t funny. This week it was my daughter. I told her that from now on, whenever anyone “tooted” we would blame it on the squirrels. She didn’t even crack a smile, but instead informed me that we should say, “Excuse me” after we toot, so that “everyone would know who did it”. I said, “Your idea is probably better, now pull my finger”. Maybe that’s why dad went to work while mom stayed home and taught the kids manners.