I just read this article about cigarettes selling for $125 a pack in California prisons. My immediate thought was to loan my Costco card to my contacts in the Norwegian Mafia and make some quick cash. But, I’m a Presidential candidate and need to think about what’s best for the country.
So I’m recommending my stupidity tax be levied against the state of California for banning tobacco in prisons. For starters, smoking is cool. Taking smokes away from prisoners is like taking away Fonzi’s leather jacket. Not only should they not be banning tobacco, they should be educating prisoners on the importance of smoking, so as to increase the number of smokers. Governor Schwarzenegger has an ingenious plan to send inmates to other states to alleviate California prison overcrowding. Wouldn’t giving inmates cancer be easier? If prisons were able to sell ciagarettes to inmates, there would be no budget shortfall.
The only good thing that came out of California’s stupidity was setting the black market price for cigarettes, which helped me determine their fine. 172,000 inmates smoking a pack a day would generate over $100,000,000. Until California wises up and starts taking advantage of its prisoners by selling them overpriced, addictive, cancer causing sticks of fun, they will be on the hook for the $100m in lost revenue.
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you need to have a campaign slogan of "are you ninja?" and your campaign headquarters should be oklahoma Joe's. I'm just saying. If Pinella can get the Cubs to win the series, you should hire him as your campaign manager.
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