Stupidity Tax

In my initial post outlining my Urinal Code Reform agenda, I said, “I’m not going to be able to fix Iraq or balance the budget”. Man, was I underestimating myself. Less than a week later, I’ve come up with solutions for both issues. I wrote a letter to Iraq, which should take care of that mess. But, if not, I’ve already drafted a plan B…to let democracy work its magic by launching a contest at 2HW dot gov giving Americans the chance to submit ideas for getting our troops out of Iraq.

Now my plan to fix the budget: a stupidity tax. I don’t go a day without running into blatant stupidity. It’s time that America’s Most Stupid are held fiscally responsible for their actions. I estimate that we’ll be back in the black within a year.

Here’s an example of how the tax would work. I read this sentence yesterday, “The Los Angeles Zoo paid $4,500 to an expert in the ancient Chinese art of feng shui to ensure three endangered golden monkeys on loan from China can have a strong life force.” That is stupid. The Zoo should be taxed. Initially I thought a $4,500 stupidity tax seemed fair. And then I read the rest of the article.

The feng shui fee seems pretty reasonable when you consider that the Zoo paid a total of $7.4 million dollars to build the living area for the monkeys. The monkeys are on loan from China for 10 years. $7.4 million to house 3 foster monkeys for a decade…stupid. I’m sure actual human foster children in the greater LA area are glad to see $7.4 million being spent to pamper illegal monkey immigrants. I find the defendant, the LA Zoo, guilty of being stupid and levy a fine of $7.4 million.

Vote Matt Hit Wonder